對銀行搶劫的描述讓我看到了大家的想象力,發揮得真是淋漓盡致~~ 寫作有時正是需要這樣的imagination ,讓自己的思維像八爪魚一樣觸碰到不同面, 同時也反映出你的獨一無二~
不多話,上作文!
L6 作文之續寫篇請挪步至:
By LV Siyi
Bank robbery
The bank is located on at the corner of a street. At this time, the bank had just opened. Some customers were withdrawing money. Suddenly, a big black car stopped (可以用課文中came to a stop) at the door of bank. One man stayed at the wheel while the others (主語不要忘~) with black stockings over their faces jumped out of the car. Two masked man walked into the bank with rifles over their shoulders. They took the rifle, pointing to the roof, and shouted “Everyone get down! Give the money out!”
While this was going on, the head of the bank began to lead his staff to fight back. They threw kitchen knives (銀行里的神器嘛= =kitchen knives…) to the brigands (土匪,強盜,這里用robber更為恰當). Meanwhile, some customs began to call the police. The brigands coerce the bank clerk to give the money out. (coerce sb. into doing sth. 表示強迫某人做某事) The bank clerk could only took take out 10000 dollars to the brigands. Then, they rushed out of the bank, and it moved off at a fantastic speed. (it作為指示代詞前面必須出現所指代的東西,也就是car~) Fortunately, the brigand had heisted (常用語口語) a lot of counterfeit money! The bank clerk gave the brigand 10000 dollar counterfeit money!
Wild imagination~! 銀行搶劫描述地比較詳細,能把課文中的句子運用到自己的文章中,本篇亮點在第二段,以及最后一句~ 注意動詞使用,查字典時除了知道中文解釋外還要留意動詞搭配,口語化表達盡量不要出現在寫作中哦!
By Tong Xuanyi
The street was empty. There was only a small bank in the street corner. ‘There’re no people here. If we rob that bank, nobody will discover us.’ said Tony. ‘That’s right!’ said Bob, Tony’ s best friend. The next day, they went into the bank and found the bank empty (賓語補足語的使用) except for a bank clerk sitting behind the only counter. That was strange! But they didn’t think about this too much. Walking towards the clerk, (分詞表伴隨) Tony took out a small piece of paper with some sentences:’ this is a robbery. Don’t call the police. Don’t shout. Just give us money!’ Then he gave the paper to the clerk. To their surprise, the clerk hadn’t been frightened at all. (用過完的原因?) She just said a few words that made Bob and Tony really sad. (這里可以用only to make表示意料之外的結果~) ‘This bank has been bankrupt for a long time. I’ve just bought the house and sat here for a rest.’ she said.
和一般銀行搶劫描寫不同,文章里還加入了對話,通過劫犯對話可以生動形象地反映出他們的性格。之后拿出一張紙給搶劫對象,可以看成是劫犯不熟悉搶劫,比較膽怯,亦或者是足夠謹慎而不留下任何線索,給讀者也有想象的空間。而結局更是出乎意料,劫犯著實不熟悉“業務”,沒有做好準備,竟要搶一家倒閉銀行的錢,但故事發展又在情理之中。細心點可以發現一些詞已暗示銀行狀況,如empty, only counter等。聽到真相后的劫犯還會不會繼續搶劫呢?可以再寫一篇續寫啦,寫得很好哦!^_^
BY Bi Yanran
The new bank in a famous arcade near Piccadilly were just opening. At this time of the morning, the arcade was almost empty. Miss Taylor, a clerk of the bank had been working busily since eight and had only just finished. (同位語) She went back to her work after gazing at the beautifully decorated wall on the back of the bank.
The silence was suddenly broken when a large car, with its headlights on and its horn blaring, roared down the arcade .it came to the outside of the bank .one man stayed at the wheel while two others with black stockings over their faces jumped out of the car and went into the bank . They seemed to be French. Miss Taylor was very frightened while one man looking at her .To her surprise, the man just took out a paper which wrote, Give me money, and put them into a bag. The sentence was written in English. She read the word, and then said to the man in English slowly, we don’t have a bag. The French looked at each other for some time, and then went out of the bank with nothing in their hands.
文章第一段模仿了課文。其中的短語句子如果能不看書自己寫出來就說明已經掌握了。第二段后半部分同樣是寫銀行搶劫,寫出了自己的特色,很新穎~ 如果劫犯順利搶劫就沒有看頭了,文中的結局出人意料。也許是法國人搶銀行擔心語言不通就寫了紙條“默默”搶劫,不想銀行因為沒有bag…最叫人吃驚的是劫匪就這么兩手空空地回去了…建議嘗試將文中原句paraphrase!
歡迎交流~ ^_^






















